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By Dr. Maria Niitepold, PsyD | Licensed Psychologist | EMDR, Brainspotting & CRM In my practice, I hear a particular sentence so often that I have come to think of it as a diagnostic in its own right: I have always been the problem. Not I am the problem in this marriage. Not I was the problem in my family. Always. The word is doing the real work in that sentence, because it tells me the belief predates every relationship the person can point to. It was installed before the ma

By Dr. Maria Niitepold, PsyD | Licensed Psychologist | EMDR, Brainspotting & CRM You finally lost it. After months, maybe years, of absorbing the criticism, the silent treatments, the subtle digs, the moved goalposts, and the constant low-grade contempt, something in you broke. You screamed. You said something vicious. Maybe you threw the glass, slammed the door hard enough to crack the frame, or grabbed their phone out of their hand. You behaved in a way that feels completel

By Dr. Maria Niitepold, PsyD | Licensed Psychologist | EMDR, Brainspotting & CRM In my practice, a client once described her workday to me in a sentence I have never forgotten: by the time I reach my desk, I've already decided who I'm going to be today, and it depends entirely on which version of him got out of bed. She worked for a narcissistic boss. Her mornings began in the parking lot, reading the cars, and continued through a lobby and an elevator that functioned as an..

By Dr. Maria Niitepold, PsyD | Licensed Psychologist | EMDR, Brainspotting & CRM In my practice, when I ask a new client what brings her in, the answer is often not a diagnosis or an event. It is a phrase: I feel like I'm walking on eggshells in my own house. She usually apologizes for how vague it sounds. It is not vague. It is one of the most precise clinical descriptions a person can give, and I want to start by telling you what you are actually describing when you say it.